Life's Lessons....

Its been about 2 1/2 months since little Melanie Paige was born. We already can't remember life without her. Isn't it funny how we do that. She truly is the finale piece to our family puzzle.  As I watch her grow (both vertically and horizontally lol) it brings happiness to my life. I have 4 AMAZING children and an AMAZING husband. Seriously, life is grand.

I can't believe how fast time flies though. From the time I laid eyes on my first little girl, found out we would be welcoming a 2nd, receiving the news of our first son followed by his traumatic delivery, to the conclusion of our family with another healthy little girl. In the nearly 9 years I have been married to Joe, not once have I regretted any decision or trial we have faced. Of course the bumps are not my favorite past times but isn't there learning in everything?

A new realization I came to within this last week has been centered around my struggle with Joseph's conditions. Naturally when he was born I had so many emotions to deal with all at once. There was fear, devastation,anger, guilt, frustration and hurt. Yet I also experienced gratitude, peace, comfort and joy. I had both sides of the spectrum all in one tiny package. In the first few months I struggled with not knowing or understanding our Heavenly Fathers reasoning for doing this to my son. I kept telling myself that "He knows what its like to watch a son suffer...so why would he do this to me?" I went back and forth with my feelings toward God because I knew he had the power to take it all away and make my son perfect. MANY times I have said "I know that he gives us trials and we are 'supposed' to learn something from them...but I'm not learning anything. He allowed Joseph to be born with disabilities...fine. But why does he have to continue to torture him with surgery after surgery. Hasn't he dealt with enough???"

So back to my new found realization. I realize now that he is not torturing my son. And I have learned something through his 11 surgeries in 3 years. I've become stronger after each one. I have learned more and more about Joseph and how his broken brain works. I have learned patience, commitment and acceptance of things different. I am his advocate, his support system and his rock. With each surgery I have come to trust that God will let me keep him here on earth, rather than calling him back home. I have learned Faith. I've learned its okay to lean on the lord rather than always standing on my own two feet. I've learned that this trial has not been a burden I've carried alone. It has effected my whole family and has brought us closer together. I've learned not to take life for granted and to accept what we cannot change. And finally, I've learned to look forward to eternity and the day I will see my son STAND before me in his perfected body. Life is full of lessons...we just have to be willing to learn them.

We are celebrating Memorial Day today. We are hosting a big party for our whole family and a few friends. We will laugh, play, joke and make memories. I have ALL of my family members still on the earth today. And I take time to realize that so many families are celebrating their day lacking a family member. One who has paid the ultimate sacrifice so that me and my family can have moments like today. Our fallen should never be forgotten and celebrated more than just today. Thank you, Thank you and Thank you to those who gave their lives and continue to risk their lives for our Nation. Thank you, Thank you and Thank you...to those families who have lost loved ones and those who leave their families behind for the cause. We are forever indebted to you.

We are all so very blessed. We are all so very fortunate. Happy Memorial Day to us all, God Bless America.